Jar of New Moon Hearts
by ToiletBrushCat
Summary: ONESHOT. Song fiction. What if Bella wasn't willing to take Edward back? Lyrics: Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri


New Moon – Jar of Hearts

Summary : Song fiction. What if Bella wasn't willing to take Edward back?

Lyrics: Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri

I stood in the clearing, the trees creating a canopy above my head, a gentle breeze caressing my skin, as I waited. The shadows of the leaves created patterns on the earth and my own body. I admired the designs, the camouflage effect they seemed to give to a human eye. And suddenly he was there, standing just a few steps away.

_I know I can't take one more step towards you_

_Cause all that's waiting is regret_

He took a hesitant step towards me, with human speed, but immortal grace, and I took a sure and steady step back. I can't let him do this to me anymore. I can't just let him rule my life again. Besides, I already know: He doesn't love me anymore. I'm the only one who still holds such feelings.

_Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?_

_You lost the love, I love the most_

I've already had to find a way to live without him. Even if it's not a full, happy life, at least those around me are happy. I can keep up the charade for them. But he just comes swooping back, thinking everything can be the same as it was.

_I learn to live half a life_

_And now you want me one more time_

What kind of person does that to someone? Creating such wounds to the heart that can never heal? A gaping hole is where mine once was. It takes all my effort just to hold together what's left, and I don't intend to ever let him close enough to do any more harm.

_And who do you think you are_

_Running round leaving scars_

Why doesn't he just go to some other girl? Why can't he leave me in peace? There are plenty of other people out there who would will fall for the beautiful exterior that has trapped many before. Go and destroy someone else, I'm already beyond repair.

_Collecting your jar of hearts_

_And tearing love apart_

I finally understand and agree with him. He isn't human; there can be no normal soul within the cage his body has become. He is evil, dangerous, the "bad guy". There is no love left to give to anyone, it left him years ago, back when he changed. It must be a cold place to be.

_Your gonna catch a cold_

_From the ice inside your soul_

He should just leave. Leave me alone. Leave and never come back. I don't need him anymore, as much as I want, I don't need. So he should just turn around, walk away, stay away. No normal person would put another through this.

_So don't come back for me_

_Who do you think you are_

He mustn't stay here, keeping tabs on me. Nor ask Alice to keep watch. I want him out of my life. He no longer deserves to ask after me. He doesn't need to know what 'm doing, where I'm going, who I'm seeing. I'm no longer a concern of his.

_I hear your asking all around_

_If I'm anywhere to be found_

I've found a way to live without him, and will never feel secure with him after what he did. The best thing for both of us is for him to realise he is no longer needed, that he is unnecessary. It's for his sake as well as my own.

_But I have grown too strong_

_To ever fall back in your arms_

So even though I will never be the same, life will continue, the world will keep spinning and a new day will always come after sundown. So even though he wants me back, I will carry on without him.

_I learn to live half a life_

_And now you want me one more time_

And whilst he will continue to do these things to others like me who fall for his twisted jokes, and I will be free in my own way, the marks will remain. I can never be how I was and will always be marked by the time spent with and without him.

_And who do you think you are_

_Running round leaving scars_

He will be okay. He'll just move onto the next girl in line. Ruin another life, break another heart. But what does he care. He has no love left to give anyway, and who are we to stand in such a terrifying creature way?

_Collecting your jar of hearts_

_And tearing love apart_

His soul will rot in hell for all the sins he has committed; for all the hurts he has caused. I hear hell is a pit of fire, where you burn for all eternity. I doubt even that would be enough to melt his frozen heart and for him to come to realise just what he has done.

_Your gonna catch a cold_

_From the ice inside your soul_

He takes a step back after I took my own, and I find myself wishing he takes another, and another, until he leaves my sight. I find myself hoping he will leave and I never see him again, because it's not natural what he can do to a living, feeling being.

_So don't come back for me_

_Who do you think you are_

I find that words are leaving my lips, flowing part the parted pink flesh, telling him just what he did to me just what he caused. I took my months just to think clearly again, and months more just too even put on a charade of happiness. But now there's someone who bring the real emotion to me. And it's not him.

_Dear it took so long just to feel alright_

_Remember how to put back the light in my eyes_

My memories have a funny way of sneaking up on me at times. Not laughable, but strange and unsettling. As I stare at his mouth, not being able to bring myself to look into his dark eyes, I recall the feeling of his against mine. Tears well up but I force them down, not wanting him to feel the satisfaction of doing this to me through false words and lies.

_I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed_

_Cause you broke all your promises_

Even though his here now, it's not enough. I won't be his no more. He' s too late. I'm gone.

_And now your back_

_You don't get to get me back_

All those scars he gave me, all the things he did, they will remain as a reminder to me and a warning to others.

_And who do you think you are_

_Running round leaving scars_

My heart no longer exists, so belongs to no one. You cannot have what is not. It is not his.

_Collecting your jar of hearts_

_And tearing love apart_

His face screws up, but no tears fall. Further proof that he is frozen inside. He cannot even accomplish a simple human gesture.

_Your gonna catch a cold_

_From the ice inside your soul_

"Just leave me alone!" I yell

_So don't come back for me_

_Don't come back at all_

And then I murmur to my feet, slowly gaining in volume:

_Who do you think you are_

_Running round leaving scars_

_Collecting your jar of hearts_

_Tearing love apart_

_Your gonna catch a cold_

_From the ice inside your soul_

_Don't come back for me_

_Don't come back at all_

And I say it to his face:

_Who do you think you are?_


End file.
